Here’s a cheerful story to take your mind off Omicron (and hopefully all the other Transformers). When I was younger, I was a lot more concerned about what other people thought of me. I would, for example, have been mortified by the idea of another man seeing me wearing my girlfriends nighty. It would have undermined some weird sense of ‘manliness’, damaged my pride and left me feeling vulnerable (a really non-manish thing in my experience). Thankfully, I’ve now come to realise what a lot of nonsense that all is – mainly by being made to look foolish repeatedly without significant consequence. So this is a story of one such occasion. I hope you enjoy it…
I’ve got some dignity
I have some self respect
Don’t like to cause a fuss
Don’t dress for the effect
That’s the reason I would feel
So embarrassed and unsightly
If I ever answered my front door
In my girlfriend’s Snoopy Nighty
I’d been feeling really sick
My nose all chapped and runny
Dosed up on paracetamol
And Hot lemon and honey
There was nothing within reach
And I was a little cold
So I reached under the pillow
And there I caught a hold
Of a thigh length cotton nighty
So I just pulled it on
Not expecting I would move
Until this bloody flu had gone
I snoozed then for a while
And held my aching head
An hour or too passed
Just curled up on the bed
When I heard an angry voice
Coming down the corridor
My girlfriend and some guy
Who had just knocked at the door
My instincts just kicked in
And I jumped up off the bed
Didn’t think of looking down
Just tuned in to what was said
It sounded like a row
So I rushed to her defence
She really didn’t need me
But she didn’t take offence
Because the guy just took one look
At the nighty I was wearing
And he lost his train of thought
Turned around and started swearing
As he made a quick retreat
As if he couldn’t take the stress
Of another adult male clad
In ladies night time dress
I hadn’t even noticed
Hadn’t stopped to think
Until my girlfriend marched me slowly
To the mirror by the sink
My sickness quelled my fear
I forgot I had it on
It was actually quite comfy
With my inhibitions gone
And that’s the reason why I felt
Pretty high and pretty mighty
The night I went to the front door
In my girlfriend’s Snoopy Nighty
#storytelling #poetry #spokenword
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